IRON CHEF COLLEGE EDITION
Tart Farseburger: Welcome to tonight's edition of Iron Chef College Edition. We've got a hell of a show lined up for you tonight.
Cole Slawson: That's right. Our challenger tonight comes from the farthest reaches of the United States. Pulled STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, he's no stranger to using knives, but let's see if he can carve us up a delicious meal here in kitchen stadium. Here's our challenger, EDWARD URRUTIA!!!
EU: Thank you Tart... Cole.
TF: Now, Edward, what's your strategy going into tonight?
EU: Well, I just gotta stick with my guns, and whatever gets thrown at me, i just gotta make it like my momma made it.
CS: That's an interesting strategy, Edward.
EU: Call me David.
CS: But I thought your name was Edward.
EU: *Shakes head and grinds fists together*
CS: OK, David, so you mentioned your mother, who is, of course, El Salvarodanian, a background which is known for it's liberal use of ingerdients, and has even been rumored to eat dogs at times.
EU: Man, fuck you, nigger. I'm outta here.
CS: Did I say something?
TF: So, now that we've met our challenger, let's see who he will be facing tonight. (Grabs special edition iron chef magic 8 ball and shakes) IRON CHEF PAUL SITZMAN!!!!
CS: Damn, does that thing ever choose a bad matchup? Clearly, by pitting David against Paul, West Coast versus Mid-Western region, this will give us a battle of biblical proportions. Now let's go down to Ai Lyk Pai to get us started with tonight's competition, and to find out what our secret ingredient is.
ALP: Ah, thank you, Cole Slawsonsan. After all these years that Iron Chef has been going on, I am surprised and slightly offended that this secret ingredient has been overlooked for so long, but it could really heat things up in tonight's battle. And the secret ingredient is...
ALP: BUTTER!!!!
TF: Oh man. Did you see that look on the challenger's face? This of course could factor greatly into the outcome of this event, seems how the El Salvadorian people seldom used butter in their food, whereas American like Paul eat that shit up. Sometimes straight out of the container.
CS: Good point there, Tart. To Americans like Paul, butter is sometimes eaten as a whole course in a 5 course meal. Generally it's used as an appetizer to grease the esophagus, making it all the easier to gorge on the next 4 courses.
TF: Indeed. Now let's get back to Ai to start us off.
ALP: Thanks again. In the words of my father, while he was laying on his death bed...
到在接待處的!!!!
EU: Does that mean go?
PS: This is my 40th show and I still don't know...
TF: And it looks like our contestants are off. We'll start over on the Iron Chef's side. And it appears to me that he's gotten out a bundt pan and is dropping a couple of Rhodes dinner rolls in there, and following it up with a generous sprinkling of brown sugar. And there he is using the secret ingredient, butter. Believe it or not, this recipe of his uses an entire stick of it. Way to go fatass!
CS: Everything seems fine over on his end, now let's see how the challenger is shaping up. So far "David" has gotten together a rather fine mixture into the blender and is adding a little dash of salt...
but wait...
hahaha... it looks like the salt has gotten stuck to the challenger's hand... an unfortunate blunder, but we'll see if he can overcome it later in the competition.
TF: It looks like maybe he brought some of that El Salvadorian humidity with him, eh, Cole?
CS: Oh, hahaha, I doubt it.
TF: Wow, now this is a first, both of the competitors have their dishes in the oven and cooking already. This might be an early night of work for us all. Let's go ahead and skip right to the tasting. We have the challengers german pancakes up first.
CS: Wow, that look to me really seems to say "Good taste, good texture... good plating... however, I don't know whether or not my esophagus would be properly greased for another 4 courses."
TF: I agree. It appears that in the Conformist category, David may be getting some low points here.
CS: Too bad, really. Now let's see if the Iron Chef has dressed his meal to impress. Oh dear...
it looks as though the Iron Chef has blown the clothes off the judges with his taste and style. They were clearly won over by the gooey caramel and soft, delicate bread in these Rhodes Pull Aparts.
TF: Amazing competition tonight. If you would like to see any of the recipes used in tonight's episode, just log on to www.ironchefce.blogspot.com. Until next time, I'm Tart Farseburger, and for my partner Cole Slawson, remember, only you can prevent grease fires. Goodnight.
Tart Farseburger: Welcome to tonight's edition of Iron Chef College Edition. We've got a hell of a show lined up for you tonight.
Cole Slawson: That's right. Our challenger tonight comes from the farthest reaches of the United States. Pulled STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, he's no stranger to using knives, but let's see if he can carve us up a delicious meal here in kitchen stadium. Here's our challenger, EDWARD URRUTIA!!!
EU: Thank you Tart... Cole.
TF: Now, Edward, what's your strategy going into tonight?
EU: Well, I just gotta stick with my guns, and whatever gets thrown at me, i just gotta make it like my momma made it.
CS: That's an interesting strategy, Edward.
EU: Call me David.
CS: But I thought your name was Edward.
EU: *Shakes head and grinds fists together*
CS: OK, David, so you mentioned your mother, who is, of course, El Salvarodanian, a background which is known for it's liberal use of ingerdients, and has even been rumored to eat dogs at times.
EU: Man, fuck you, nigger. I'm outta here.
CS: Did I say something?
TF: So, now that we've met our challenger, let's see who he will be facing tonight. (Grabs special edition iron chef magic 8 ball and shakes) IRON CHEF PAUL SITZMAN!!!!
CS: Damn, does that thing ever choose a bad matchup? Clearly, by pitting David against Paul, West Coast versus Mid-Western region, this will give us a battle of biblical proportions. Now let's go down to Ai Lyk Pai to get us started with tonight's competition, and to find out what our secret ingredient is.
ALP: Ah, thank you, Cole Slawsonsan. After all these years that Iron Chef has been going on, I am surprised and slightly offended that this secret ingredient has been overlooked for so long, but it could really heat things up in tonight's battle. And the secret ingredient is...
ALP: BUTTER!!!!
TF: Oh man. Did you see that look on the challenger's face? This of course could factor greatly into the outcome of this event, seems how the El Salvadorian people seldom used butter in their food, whereas American like Paul eat that shit up. Sometimes straight out of the container.
CS: Good point there, Tart. To Americans like Paul, butter is sometimes eaten as a whole course in a 5 course meal. Generally it's used as an appetizer to grease the esophagus, making it all the easier to gorge on the next 4 courses.
TF: Indeed. Now let's get back to Ai to start us off.
ALP: Thanks again. In the words of my father, while he was laying on his death bed...
到在接待處的!!!!
EU: Does that mean go?
PS: This is my 40th show and I still don't know...
TF: And it looks like our contestants are off. We'll start over on the Iron Chef's side. And it appears to me that he's gotten out a bundt pan and is dropping a couple of Rhodes dinner rolls in there, and following it up with a generous sprinkling of brown sugar. And there he is using the secret ingredient, butter. Believe it or not, this recipe of his uses an entire stick of it. Way to go fatass!
CS: Everything seems fine over on his end, now let's see how the challenger is shaping up. So far "David" has gotten together a rather fine mixture into the blender and is adding a little dash of salt...
but wait...
hahaha... it looks like the salt has gotten stuck to the challenger's hand... an unfortunate blunder, but we'll see if he can overcome it later in the competition.
TF: It looks like maybe he brought some of that El Salvadorian humidity with him, eh, Cole?
CS: Oh, hahaha, I doubt it.
TF: Wow, now this is a first, both of the competitors have their dishes in the oven and cooking already. This might be an early night of work for us all. Let's go ahead and skip right to the tasting. We have the challengers german pancakes up first.
CS: Wow, that look to me really seems to say "Good taste, good texture... good plating... however, I don't know whether or not my esophagus would be properly greased for another 4 courses."
TF: I agree. It appears that in the Conformist category, David may be getting some low points here.
CS: Too bad, really. Now let's see if the Iron Chef has dressed his meal to impress. Oh dear...
it looks as though the Iron Chef has blown the clothes off the judges with his taste and style. They were clearly won over by the gooey caramel and soft, delicate bread in these Rhodes Pull Aparts.
TF: Amazing competition tonight. If you would like to see any of the recipes used in tonight's episode, just log on to www.ironchefce.blogspot.com. Until next time, I'm Tart Farseburger, and for my partner Cole Slawson, remember, only you can prevent grease fires. Goodnight.
posted by Pablo at 11:40 PM
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